Posts Tagged ‘cream cheese’

“Brandy seems to be your downfall,” I observed. “I’m sorry I haven’t anything to give you for your head; I don’t have any medicines with me at the moment.” 

“Oh, not worry,” he assured me. “I having healthy balls.”

 “How nice for you,” I said, trying to decide whether he was gearing up for another attempt on my feet, or merely still too drunk to distinguish basic anatomy. Or perhaps there was some connection in Chinese philosophy, between the well-being of head and testicles? Just in case, I looked round for something that might be used as a weapon, in case he showed a disposition to begin burrowing under the bedclothes.

Instead, he reached into the depths of one baggy blue-silk sleeve and with the air of a conjuror, drew out a small white silk bag. He upended this, and two balls dropped out into his palm. They were larger than marbles and smaller than baseballs; about the size, in fact, of the average testicle. A good deal harder, though, being apparently made of some kind of polished stone, greenish in color.

“Healthy balls,” Mr. Willoughby explained, rolling them together in his palm. They made a pleasant clicking noise. “Streaked jade, from Canton,” he said. “Best kind of healthy balls.”

“Really?” I said, fascinated. “And they’re medicinal—good for you, that’s what you’re saying?”

He nodded vigorously, then stopped abruptly with a faint moan. After a pause, he spread out his hand, and rolled the balls to and fro, keeping them in movement with a dextrous circling of his fingers.

 “All body one part; hand all parts,” he said. He poked a finger toward his open palm, touching delicately here and there between the smooth green spheres. “Head there, stomach there, liver there,” he said. “Balls make all good.”

 “Well, I suppose they’re as portable as Alka-Seltzer,” I said. Possibly it was the reference to stomach that caused my own to emit a loud growl at this point.

Voyager, Diana Gabaldon


That passage was running through my head continually while making these, so it was only fitting to include it.  If you’ve never read Diana Gabaldon’s massive tomes, please run out and immediately do so.  I’ll wait.

**approximately one year later**

On Christmas Eve, we made molasses cookies for Santa.  It was a full batch and six days later, the remaining cookies were getting pretty stale and crumbly.  Always on the lookout for ways to add nutrition, and given my current desire to cream cheese all the things, this idea was born.  If necessary, you could bash your cookies about in a Ziploc bag with a rolling pin, but mine just crumbled between my fingers.

Like most things I make, this is pretty easily adaptable to your needs.  I used about a cup of stale cookie crumbs because that’s all I had left, but if you’ve been gifted with more cookies than you can reasonably eat this holiday and have more left, you could easily replace some or all of the coconut flour with additional cookie crumbs.  Likewise, you could sub almond flour or even regular flour, I suppose, although I wouldn’t be too keen on chowing on a bunch of raw wheat flour.  And of course, you could make these without any cookie crumbs at all; just use more flour.  Keep in mind, however, that the predominant flavor will then be whatever kind of flour you use.

You could also sub out any part of the cream cheese/sweet potato mixture for a very ripe banana or avocado.  I did consider adding an avocado, but the ones I have aren’t quite ripe enough to mash easily.  Feeding sweet potatoes to my family in a savory capacity has had mixed results, so this is a good way to do so.

You could also sub chocolate chips for the raisins; I used the raisins because I felt they went better with molasses cookies.  The finished balls could be rolled in cocoa powder or shredded coconut for a truffle-like effect.  This sort of recipe is great for experimentation because even if you have to eat it off a spoon, it will taste good!


Healthy No-Bake Cookie Dough Balls

  • 8 oz cream cheese, softened
  • 1 large sweet potato, peeled and steamed/boiled until very soft
  • 1 cup (or more) cookie crumbs of choice
  • 1/4 cup maple syrup
  • 1/2 cup raisins (or chocolate chips)
  • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract
  • Coconut flour as needed (I used between 3/4 cup and 1 cup)

Mash cream cheese and sweet potato together and mix until well blended.  Stir in the remaining ingredients other than the coconut flour.  Mix in the coconut flour a few tablespoons at a time until the dough can be lightly handled (it will be still be sticky but should roll if handled quickly).  Roll quickly between hands (dust hands with coconut flour if necessary) into a ball and place on plates or a cookie sheet.  Chill up to several hours or as long as you can keep them away from hungry fingers to help them firm up.


My 7 year old pronounced them “even better than cookies.”


Read Full Post »

%d bloggers like this: